Jane Austen and Indian Middle Class

A girl is getting married. She holds a masters degree and is unemployed.

A girl, still in college, is in a relationship with an accomplished software engineer. She plans to get married as soon as she finishes her undergrad.

A young man is looking for prospective grooms for his sister. He is even prepared to accede to demands for dowry.

A girl joins a software company after graduating with a B.E. degree. Immediately she starts a groom-hunt with active encouragement from her parents. Come what may, she has to tie the knot before reaching a certain age.

I mentioned a few incidents from the lives of my personal acquaintances. It is patently obvious that these are not isolated events. Instead, they represent a typical mindset of Indian middle class; and I see an uncanny similarity between the plight of modern Indian women and her counterparts in early nineteenth century England, as depicted in wonderful novels by Jane Austen. A girl is given proper education. She goes to colleges and universities, but ends up being treated like a mortgage loan that must be disposed of before the retirement of her father. It is even more tragic to see the prejudices being reinforced by conscious participation of the victims. The girls themselves consider groom-hunting to be of much more importance than job-hunting, and as if to substantiate the point, no girl wants to marry a man who earns less money than herself. Undoubtedly there are exceptions to the above statement, but I am afraid they are too small in numbers to make any difference to the prevailing situation.

Feminist Rant

March 8th was women's day. The upper house of Indian Parliament passed the historic women's reservation bill on March 9th. Though I have serious misgivings regarding many aspects of the bill, it is heartening to see the issue of female empowerment receiving a degree of political attention that was long-overdue.

I grew up in an urban middle class society and have never been to a village. Thus it is not appropriate for me to comment on the grave socio-economic discriminations the females suffer in rural India. I will rather highlight some practices, quite demeaning to women, that are still prevalent amongst the so called educated sections of the populace.

1) A girl has to get married before a certain age, even if she is not financially independent by that time.

2) The husband should be professionally more established (in terms of job profile) than the wife.

3) The husband should be older (and taller) than the wife.

4) Even if both the husband and the wife are working, it is the wife's duty to manage the household chores.

5) If the parents of two kids (a boy and a girl) are constrained financially and have to make a choice, the boy will be encouraged to go for higher studies (PhD / MBA) while the girl will be married off as quickly as possible.

6) The girl's family will pay for the bulk of the cost of organizing the marriage.

7) It is the wife's duty to give up or change her job (or seek a transfer) and relocate to the place where the groom is working. She should not expect her future husband to relocate to her place.

8) A woman cannot preside over a religious ceremony. How many female purohits have you seen?

I can only hope the next generation will be more liberal and open-minded than us, and things will change for the better.

Belated HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY!!!